I never ever have thought divorce is a good thing for kids! It's devastating! Even in the worst situations it hurts kids. Anyone who actually truly knows me or who has followed this blog completely knows that my kids have struggled! A year and a half later we still have tearful nights! (last night was a major one). I think even in the best situations where both parents are doing their job as that child parent and supporting each other as parents (it's rare but it does happen and is ultimately is best for the kids), the kids still hurt!
However, I think sometimes the marriage and the home situation hurts those kids too and sometimes divorce is necessary. Only God knows when those times are and that's between that person and God. For me, and I only speak for myself, I was faced with two bad options and I chose which was the worst of the two.
I get very tired when there is an issue with children who are from divorced homes, a lot of people's first answer is "well that's the consequence to the kids of parents who choose divorce". No! That's the consequence of one or both parents not doing their job!!!! When you go through a divorce, you have so many people judge you and say hurtful things, nobody EVER knows the whole story (and shouldn't!). That's a form of judgement and false guilt and I'm just tired of it.
Sometimes, yes even for kids, divorce is a bad option but it is the better option. Both of my children struggle with things and we work it out together. They both still have times where they are very sad at the state of their family, but you know what? Both my kids are glad I am divorced! Both do not want to go back to what they lived before.
When you go through a divorce, people come to you more often for advice because they know you'll understand and won't judge. I never ever have been someone to encourage getting a divorce. I think it's a last resort when you just have given everything you have and tried to change your end and see that's the best option of two horrible ones. I push for counseling, I encourage the love dare, I give every resource I tried before I came to that point. When you just can't do it though, I love the person and offer understanding . When someone gets to that place, the last thing they need is more guilt and blame, because I promise, they are feeling it already.
Things to get better!!!!!!! Doesn't mean it will be easy! But it gets better. Kids will be ok as long as they see they are loved!
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