High Standards

So recently, a group of friends and I were talking about dating and this new adventure stage of life.  One of them asked if it was possible we had too high of standards.    I had an immediate reaction, but I have thought about that for a few days now.    Honestly, I think people lower their standards too much typically.   I think we lose sight of our own value and make compromises sometimes.   Some of those times, those compromises can be really bad depending on what it is we are giving up.

When I was younger, I had the "list".  Come on girls, we all had it!   I do not think that is ideally great either, you put limits on yourself and experiences by having that list, especially if it is so detailed (mine was at one point, although I don't know what I ever did with that, hahaha). 

The things I look for now (and most of my friends) are stuff I think all girls (and guys really) should be looking for.   I want someone:

•  who is respectful 
• who is patient (read my previous blog on dating single moms, I am a lot to handle and I know it)
•  who is not selfish.   Thinks of others before himself
•  who is caring
•  who is understanding and sympathetic
• who i can depend on
• who can be consistent (without losing spontaneous fun)
• who is honest
• who is thoughtful (dont expect it to be all the time, but occasionally)
• who isn't afraid to be romantic occasionally (and I am not talking about Sleepless in Seattle or PS I Love You romance, little things.  Flowers, notes, planning dates, etc)
• who is fun and makes me laugh.  I have to be comfortable being silly with the person or they are out.
• obviously, has to love kids and doing kid like things, thats just the world I live in
• who is mature.  (I do not one of these guys who are still living their "glory days" out partying and such.   A drink every now and then is fine, but someone who has to have any of that, forget it.  Been there, done that, do not want that stress back in my life at all)
• who is strong.    I want someone who can stand on their own two feet.   Who can not be easily swayed, which honestly, goes back to dependable and counting on the person.    Someone who is their own person.
• who is a communicator.  I want to be able to talk about things.  I want to not pretend things away.  I also want to be able to have times where we can talk about deep things and that's OK, because we will talk about stupid funny things too.

Some great guides for me are 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love in kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.   It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres ."    That right there, that is EXACTLY who I want to be with!  

I do not expect perfection.   Just because he messes up, there is grace and forgiveness.  I do not believe in a perfect person (although Justin Timberlake and Patrick Dempsey seem pretty close, JUST KIDDING!! I totally know they are not).   Here is the catcher though, someone once told me, you have to be the person you expect to date.   Think about that for a minute.  All those things I list that I am looking for,  I also have to be as well or I am setting a crazy double standard.

So maybe I am setting high standards, but I am high standard myself.  I am not some low quality person.  I have value (and YOU DO TOO!!!) and I have worth.  To think we have to lower our standards to find someone, is also lowering our worth.   Keep those standards high, be that high standard!!!!