When you go through a divorce (or any type of heartbreak or grief really) there is this pesky little thing I call Triggers you need to watch out for. You know, that thing when you are doing really good, moving along in life and in your healing process and out of nowhere, BANG! It gets you and knocks you down! These triggers can send you into an emotional tornado anywhere from minutes to days to even weeks! It can be little things and big things. You just never know. I have even had them at Disney World! YES! I KNOW! SHOCKING! It is the happiest place on earth and one of my most favorite places. Luckily, that was a soft trigger and I contained it and nobody knew the wiser. That one was seeing all the happy couples and all the happy families with the mom and the dad and the adorable kids and knowing that no matter how much I dreamed of that, it wasn't my life right now. Other triggers have been jokes people have made and it hit too close to home, or hearing your kids go on and on about how much they love the "new person" or for some people when the ex falls in love with someone else. One of my friends had a trigger when their child came home from dad's wearing a shirt saying "Daddy spoils me". Another one of my friends had a major trigger at a dinner where her ex's favorite food was served. None of that means you miss that person (although it is OK if you do, for some it may!) it just means your still adjusting to the loss of those hopes and dreams and let's face it, change is hard! It doesn't matter if it is good change or bad change, it is tough and going through it can really stink! When a trigger hits you, allow yourself to feel it, then pick yourself up, dust off, and move forward. I still have them myself (had a tough one this week matter of fact) but I can honestly say that over time, they get fewer and further in between. Life keeps moving and we get stronger and better for it! I promise.
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