Now that that is out of the way, let's get into it. Do you things friends can really be neutral in a Divorce? I think that probably depends on the type of divorce it is. Divorce sucks period! And it is not just the couple and the children that are involved. I have seen that happen before it came my own path and it is so sad. But it is possible for people to go through a divorce and be civil and communicate well and still be friendly (doesnt mean they have to be friends, but that has happened before too!). I think when people can go through this like that, it is much easier for friends who want to be neutral to remain neutral.
But what about when it is not? I have a friend, I will call her Renee for her privacy (name changed I promise). I was friends with her and her husband before they began the path of separation/divorce. I as a woman, had more loyalty to her to begin with honestly. But then when he started cheating on her (with multiple women!) and doing things that I saw were hurtful and mean to her, I dont want to be around him. If I had to see him face to face, I think I would probably say some things. I dont consider him my friend anymore because when I care about someone, I dont like it when people hurt them.
In my situation, I have friends who I have lost completely and he has friends he has too. It is sad and it is unfortunate, but I have to say, I think it comes with the consequences. I have friends who try very hard to be neutral, but does it work? In some way they usually get out in the middle or by trying to remain neutral, one side at least doesnt feel they can be trusted quite as fully anymore (I have been on that end and it stinks to be that person!). That is what leads me to this question that I honestly do not know the answer to. I dont think it is possible, but I hope I am wrong.
To people going through the divorce, do not blame your friends who were both of your friends before this happened. They are trying and the divorce is painful for them too. I know it hurts to feel like you have lost more people you cared about, but do not take it personally. (Not in most cases at least, I know there is always an exception). Give your friends time and space to process this as well, and you may just have to accept that as part of your losses, I am sorry.
To people who are in the friend role, be cautious. By trying to remain neutral with even the most honest of intentions, you are treading in thin water. Make sure both parties see you care about both of them as genuinely as you believe. Be cautious to not get stuck in a position where you become the middle person. If you choose to stay neutral, that means you have to stay out of every aspect of their lives in that way. That is a very hard stand to make. It is hard for you too, I am sorry.
Can not wait to hear some feedback on this........
No comments:
Post a Comment